SMILE

 I've had my regrets

Things I wish were different

Never regret us

I will always be in love

With the memory of your smile

COLDNESS

This is how coldness 

Can break a heart

When I reach out

And feel myself 

Being blown apart

Feel the rose dying

In a cracked vase

I have nothing left to give

These words that I live

Finally I will give you

Your space

MY FACE

 I look in the mirror 

And see my own face

The lines and features

So out of place

No look can defend 

No light can attend

What I see as my biggest disgrace

OCEAN

 I worry I will never see the light again

Feel the sun on my face

Without your love

I am floating in a nameless void

A being without identity

My purpose is lost to me

In an ocean floating endlessly

I search for you

Will you search for me?

FAMILY AFFAIR

 Anyone could try

And I did

To reach out to you

To get close to you

Everywhere I looked

Doors were slammed

In my face

Now it is my turn 

To walk away

Slam my own door

Because I am worth more

Than your cold judgment

THE VOICE WITHIN

 Looking silently at the floor

Longing for a different past

Then roused from these reflections

Realizing that the present

Has exceeded all my expectations

Gazing into the mirror

With a soft voice saying

"I love you always"

The voice within

SHOW ME

 Show me today 

Where the terror lies within

Let me reach in

And pull it out from you

Examine the pain you hide

And tell you that

You never deserved it

In the first place

THIS POEM DOES NOT EXIST

 

Life has spoiled my great illusion
Once I was blinded by a bright future
Now the room casts their attention
To the worker who does not work

This poem does not exist

A DREAM YOU FORGOT

 I don't ask for much

You ask for a lot

I give you what little I have

It's all I've got

You look at my small bouquet

Throwing it away

As though I was a dream

You forgot

MY GOLDEN DREAM

 My golden dream

You gave me hope

Showed me

All I could be

You are more than you seem

My golden dream

DOWNSTAIRS

 Don't go downstairs

Whatever you do

In this house of horrors

Made just for you

No one will believe you

What happens down there

Better to go outside

Get a breath of fresh air

No matter what

You think you're been through

Don't go downstairs 

Whatever you do

FALL

 Even when I fall

I know you'll always be there

Catching my pieces

WHERE MEMORY LIVES

 I had to return again

Where memory lives

Pushed and shoved

Such a tiny place 

Where memory lives

I can never be free

TURMOIL

 The turmoil I felt

When you were here to stay

Equals the peace I felt

When you walked away

TIME

 It's time

To love myself

More than you

It's been time

To push away from the edge

And find my own path

And maybe 

Someone who cares

WAITING FOR THE DAWN

 I don't know

What went wrong

Or why you're gone

Searching all the time

For the perfect rhyme

As the tears roll

Down my cheeks

Waiting for a better day

Wating for the dawn

ALONE

 Floating in

A sea of melancholy

You are not here

With me

This is when I feel 

Most alone

SUN

 I stand in the shadow

Of your coldness

I plead with you

To bring back the sun

In your eyes

So I can smile again

PERFECT

I never had a doubt

It would end up like this

Close to perfect

Still so far away 

MY BODY

 My body betrays me, cell by cell

Overcome with symptoms, falling down a well

I scramble for branches to slow the fall

Realizing there is no saving me at all

THIS LIFE

 Why was I given this life

I ask the heavens above

Running out of patience 

And self-love

A hand reaches down

And says because you are strong

You were meant to be victorious

All along

AJ

 I don't know when I will see my baby again

Amidst all this confusion, chaos, and pain

I am trying to be tough, trying to be strong

But I haven't seen him for so long

Not seeing one's child causes such pain

I don't know when I will see my baby again

TOUCH

 Softly and tacitly 

You creep to my bed

Lightly and mildly

You stroke my weary head

NAME

 I think it completely ludicrous

I call out your name

No lies and no games

You make me feel ashamed 

For wanting the same