SHATTERED HEART

 Don't look at me 

Don't break me

This ghost of a person

You will grow to hate me

Disappear from my life

Stab me with your knife

And leave me with this

Shattered heart

SHOESHINE BOY

Wladyka sat straight up in her bed. Her eyes began to adjust to the dim light from the streetlamp outside. She knew that something was not right, but she was not surewhat it was. Certainly her parents would know. Wladyka put her slippers and her bathrobe on and shuffled down to her parents' bedroom. She peered through a crack in the door. "Mother?" Wladyka whispered. "Father?" Silence. Wladyka threw the door open and switched on the lamp. The bedroom was empty.

Wladyka began to search around the house. From time to time she would call her parents' names, but to no avail. Outside, Wladyka began to hear the marching feet of German soldiers. She began to shudder. They were there for all the Jews, and now they have taken her parents. Wladyka angrily wiped away tears from her cheeks. She knew what she needed to do.

Wladyka ran into the kitchen and grabbed her mother's scissors. Standing in front of the powder room mirror, Wladyka carefully cut her hair as short as she could. She grabbed one of her father's smaller outfits and put it on. Wladyka stared at herself in the mirror. Her own mother wouldn't have recognized her.

The streets outside were being blanketed by the misty dawn of the morning. Wladyka carefully stepped outside for the first time as a boy. She began to add a little swagger to her walk as she began to feel more comfortable in her own skin. Suddenly, she heard a strange voice ask, "Excuse me? Who are you?"

Wladyka swallowed hard. "My name is Wlad," she said. "I shine shoes during the day." The two soldiers looked at each other, as Wladyka's mouth felt like it was full of cotton. Finally, they moved on and Wladyka could breathe a sigh of relief. Luckily the soldiers hadn't noticed that the young boy had no supplies with him with which to shine shoes.

Now that Wladyka had a minute to herself again, she wondered where her parents were. Those yellow stars, she thought. Everybody can tell we are Jewish from a mile away. But why do they hate us? And why does Hitler want us gone? Wladyka felt completely alone. She would have to keep up this facade, this shoeshine boy. She would have to be Wlad from now on.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So that's what happened, Zeyda?" A small wide-eyed boy asked his grandfather. Wlad chuckled. "Yes, that's what happened. I found out I made a much better boy than a girl, so that's what I have been all along.

"Will God protect the Jews from that ever happening again?', the small boy asked.

Wlad stared at the charismatic orange man on the TV set. "I don't know, Moishe. I really don't know."

I LEARNED WHAT I LIVED

If a child is made to feel unwanted, she learns to live inside herself

If a child is treated roughly, she learns that the world is not a fair place

If a child is not rescued from a traumatic home life, she learns not to trust anyone

If a child is told what an adult does is secret, she learns that the worst things remain unspoken

If a child is told she is a bad person, she learns to doubt herself in all things

If a child is surrounded by negativity, she learns to fear anythng but joy

If a child is treated like an unwanted animal, she can still learn to find love in the world

COTTAGE

There you are

Surrounded by wildflowers

Basking in the sun

My home in the middle of the woods

My cottage that has become my sanctuary

A lovely part of myself that will never go away

There you are

The pungent smell of lavender

Wafting through my bedroom window in the morning

Reminding me of the beauty

That exists in the world

And within my tiny home

CITY STREETS

The city called me

I walked down the city streets

I felt so alone

IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!!

There is still time to enter the July giveaway of Worthless: Poems Of Sadness and Reflection. Just give me your first name, email, the name of a poem of mine you enjoyed, and why. The contest closes at 11:59 pm EST. Good luck!

BIRDS

I gaze up at the birds flying overhead

Wishing I could be up there, too

A bird's-eye view

To see the world

From this perspective anew

A wave of envy enters my head

How dare they fly

Up there so high

When I am stuck down here below?

But like angels, they soar

In chains nevermore

Across the evening sky

ANGELS

There are angels all around us

If we only choose to see them

The acts of mercy from a stranger

We move on, smile, and thank him

A small, sticky hand

Buried deep inside your palm

Solemn dark eyes stare up at you

For some reason, you are feeling warm

There are angels all around us

We are never truly alone

I look up to the heavens with gratitude

There are no words - no, there are none

GIVEAWAY ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

During the month of July, I will be giving away AT LEAST one e-book copy and one paperback copy of my latest book, Worthless: Poems Of Sadness and Reflection. To enter, all you need to do is give me your first name, an email address where you wish to be contacted, the name of one of my poems, and why you liked it. The contest closes on July 31 at 11:59 pm EST. Enter today!

BAD HABITS

You are my worst habit

Leaning against the red brick wall

Covered with graffiti about the government

And how they are leaving the country to starve

Fifteen feet from me, a couple of dissidents are injecting themselves

Unaware that a cop is strolling by

You are my worst habit

You speak of rebellion from inside your gated community

Attending private school all your life

After school, you throw on your leather jacket

Grab your smokes and head out

Someone has to prove you know what life's all about 

THROUGH IT

"A river runs through it" - 

That's what they say, laughing

When they see where I live

They think it's funny

To live indoors but not really

The way I live

"A river runs through it" - 

It's not that funny

Yesterday I saw a fish

Full of panic, wanting something familiar

It's not that funny

If you live next to a river indoors

HOME

I don't know how I got here

I needed a change, feeling low

So I came to this tropical paradise

And I knew that I was home

I am so far from where I started

So far away to roam

But I will never regret my decision

To find myself a better home

The scenery is beautiful

No bustling to and fro

I needed to get in touch with nature

And so I made this my home

I don't know how I got here

I needed a change, feeling low

So I came to this tropical paradise

And I knew that I was home

STANDING IN THE RAIN

Oh the heartache and pain

To be left here standing in the rain

Anticipating your sunny smile

Still, you are taking a long while

To get here and rescue me

From feeling so sad and lonely

My sobbing is muted by the rumbling of the train

As I stand here in the rain

MORE AWESOME NEWS!!!

My second volume of poetry, Worthless: Poems Of Sadness and Reflection, is available for pre-order in both Kindle and Softcover formats on Amazon. Check it out:

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/Worthless-Sadness-Reflection-Tanya-Mills-ebook/dp/B0B4PVQKMP

Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1667851020

EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

 Just to let you know that my second volume of poetry, Worthless: Poems Of Sadness and Reflection, is available for pre-order at Amazon as well as other major retailers worldwide! Check it out at the link below:

https://www.amazon.ca/Worthless-Sadness-Reflection-Tanya-Mills-ebook/dp/B0B4PVQKMP

CORRIDOR

I used to play in this corridor 

Between your house and mine

Our laughter echoed from the rooftops

As we played hide and seek

We were so innocent

We were so safe

They tore down the apartments today

Our haven is gone

A sign of things to come

You are married with kids

I remember our laughter in the corridor

I remember our innocence redeemed

TRAIN

I waited for you again last night

Last night, where you normally get off the train

The train, it kept rumbling past

Rumbling past, with no sign of you there

You there, getting off the train

The train, where you once grabbed me and kissed me

Kissed me, with passion and arrogance

And arrogance, it's all you left me

Left me, here on the train platform once again

Once again, waiting for the train

FLOWERS IN MY COMPUTER

You wrote me an email

After all this time

The fights, the words

They can't be taken back

But I checked my email

And there were flowers in my computer

I guess I should have known

You would try something like that

Sneak in through the back door

Pretend you never made me cry

There are still flowers in my computer

Their fragrance makes me unable to forget

CLOUDS IN MY EYES

As we watched our last sunset

You asked me why I cry

When we were only driving each other crazy

Continuing on with this lie

As I looked at him, my eyes brimming with tears

I said it was the clouds in my eyes

Years later I look back on that memory

The way I craved your touch with every sigh

And how you left me there alone and wanting

I had so many questions, but I did not dare pry

For it was your decision to leave me there

Alone, with the clouds in my eyes

THE MERCY SEAT

He comes now

Prepare the mercy seat

Cover it with raiments of blue and purple

Gold frame throughout

Prepare the mercy seat

For we are to meet with the King

With burnt offerings and prayerful cries

Prepare the mercy seat

For we are to be honored

To finally be in the presence of the King